The Words Refuse To Come

The writing isn't working at all the last few days. I'm about to give it another shot tonight, I have a little more prep work in place for the next section of Gordian Knot v2. But in the mean time my blog presents:

The quick and dirty way of making your own pizza.

But first: the even quicker even dirtier way of making your own pizza.

The EQ&ED Way of Making your own Pizza:
1) procure desired toppings (except those excluded by step 3)
2) procure frozen pizza from supermarket (pretty basic type will do)
3) drop any toppings already present on frozen pizza, mainly cheese most likely
4) unwrap frozen pizza, drop on extra toppings, put in oven as specified on box
5) set alarm for time mentioned on box
6) take pizza out of oven and eat

And now for something completely different: the regular Q&D way of making your own pizza.

First we have to have dough. The formal way includes all sort of stuff about yeast and such, but this wouldn't be quick and dirty if we bothered with that. Instead we just take self-raising flower. Between 100 and 200 grams (anything really, depends how big you want your pizza). If you want to be fancy here you can chuck other stuff in, salt, pepper, maybe a little sugar, but you don't have to.

Next we add milk. If you like you can put in a little olive oil as well. If you're putting in a little olive oil you can probably get away with just using water, rather than milk, but I wouldn't recommend using just water without the olive oil. After adding the first of the fluids, start working it through keeping an eye on the consistency of what you're mixing. I use an electric mixer with special "dough kneading" attachments, but you can do this with a fork, or if you have food processor you could probably use that. Just keep adding the fluids until the stuff is in fairly thick lumps, but not yet one ball, possibly with a little small stuff left. Then go in with your hands and start kneading, this should turn the dough into one ball. Keep working it for a while, possibly adding a little more fluid, if it's too thick, or more flower if it's too wet and sticky.

Now we have a nice ball of dough. We're going to have to flatten it out. Get a clean flat serive in your kitchen, and sprinkle flower on it to make sure the dough won't stick. Then sprinkle flower on the dough so the rolling pin won't stick. now roll the dough. Try to keep it pretty round.

Once you have a flat, round, disk of dough you have to make sure it won't rise to high in odd places. You can do the traditional thing and prick though it (except the crust) with a fork, or you can score it gently with a knife. If you use the knife, my current technique, be sure not to press through the dough all the way, just about half way should do.

Now put the disk of dough in the oven and bake it for about ten to fifteen minutes, about 180 degrees C. I like to make a slightly more special sauce then strictly quick and dirty demands at this point, since I have ten to fifteen minutes anyway. Basically I get a saucepan, put in a little bit of olive oil, and then quite a bit of ketchup. After the ketchup I add some sugar, some dried herbs (oregano and basil) and some salt and pepper. Then I leave the thing on the fire to reduce down a bit, so I get quite a thick tomato sauce with the seasoning in it.

Once your base gets out of the oven, spread your sauce on it. If you don't use the recipe above use ordinary tomato paste, or even just ketchup. Now add toppings and put the stuff back in the oven. Another fifteen minutes should probably do it. If it looks ready after fifteen minutes take it out, then eat and enjoy.